How I Got My Husband to Help with Housework
Many wives complain about their husbands not doing their fair share of housework or helping them with housework. What follows is what worked for me. Doing this made so much difference in my marriage, you just don't know. I like my house clean and tidy and my husband wouldn't pick up after himself, it used to hurt my feelings so bad. At one point I even felt like he was being dirty just to mess with me. But all he needed was some positive reinforcement, and he's been doing his part ever since.
If you are married or living with a man try to get his assistance. I know this can be difficult. It can be emotionally painful. All of your feminist sensibilities will rail against the unfairness of it all. Older long-term married women gave me this advice: Ask your man nicely to do some housework and thank him when he does. Do not berate his cleaning or do his work over if he does it differently or less thoroughly than you. Over time he will improve. Follow this with a reward of some kind, such as extra attention, his favorite meal or dessert, or allowing him to watch a game or go out with his friends without hearing any complaint from you. It is also very important!! to not ask your man to do any housework as soon as he gets home from work, before work, or early on his day off. Let him hear you talking about how helpful he is to your friends and family.
I resisted doing this for years because I thought it was sexist and demeaning to both of us but once I started I could have kicked myself because it made a world of difference in how my husband responded to my requests for his help in keeping the house clean. There was a time when he wouldn't even pick up his dirty socks from our bedroom floor!!! Once I threw a boycott and wouldn't pick up any of his stuff and by the end of the month our bedroom floor was covered with his dirty socks, t-shirts, underwear, and assorted pants and shirts and our bedroom smelled like a locker room. He only picked it all up because he didn't have anything clean to wear.
Now, he does his part with no prompting or begging from me. He also does the bulk of the laundry, keeps the bathtub and bathroom walls clean, keeps his closet together and keeps his clothes off the floor. He also keeps the inside part of the windows clean, he'll mop the kitchen and bathroom floors if I ask him to, does all the yard work (mowing, shoveling snow, etc.) and keeps the garage clean. Try it, this may work for you.
This blog entry written by Trula Breckenridge. Thanks for visiting The Marriage Blog of Brian & Trula!
If you are married or living with a man try to get his assistance. I know this can be difficult. It can be emotionally painful. All of your feminist sensibilities will rail against the unfairness of it all. Older long-term married women gave me this advice: Ask your man nicely to do some housework and thank him when he does. Do not berate his cleaning or do his work over if he does it differently or less thoroughly than you. Over time he will improve. Follow this with a reward of some kind, such as extra attention, his favorite meal or dessert, or allowing him to watch a game or go out with his friends without hearing any complaint from you. It is also very important!! to not ask your man to do any housework as soon as he gets home from work, before work, or early on his day off. Let him hear you talking about how helpful he is to your friends and family.
I resisted doing this for years because I thought it was sexist and demeaning to both of us but once I started I could have kicked myself because it made a world of difference in how my husband responded to my requests for his help in keeping the house clean. There was a time when he wouldn't even pick up his dirty socks from our bedroom floor!!! Once I threw a boycott and wouldn't pick up any of his stuff and by the end of the month our bedroom floor was covered with his dirty socks, t-shirts, underwear, and assorted pants and shirts and our bedroom smelled like a locker room. He only picked it all up because he didn't have anything clean to wear.
Now, he does his part with no prompting or begging from me. He also does the bulk of the laundry, keeps the bathtub and bathroom walls clean, keeps his closet together and keeps his clothes off the floor. He also keeps the inside part of the windows clean, he'll mop the kitchen and bathroom floors if I ask him to, does all the yard work (mowing, shoveling snow, etc.) and keeps the garage clean. Try it, this may work for you.
This blog entry written by Trula Breckenridge. Thanks for visiting The Marriage Blog of Brian & Trula!
posted by Trula at
8:21 PM
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